- “Non-sense” stories like those by Lewis Carroll
- Absurdity like Douglas Adams…
- Dead Dictator porn (from Kim Jong Il’s and Saddam Hussien’s private stash)
I will also add regular features like:
- Fooky’s Freaky Friday Films
- Fooky’s Freaky Friday Fashions
- Other stuff, even if it doesn’t start with the letter “F”, like:
- TV and Mechanical Whore Reviews, and “Exquisite Corpse” games!
Confused? Learn about “non-sequitur”
Where’s The Blog Introduction and New Site Status?
Looking for the Suds Whiffle Poop Virus and the blog’s introduction story?
Landover Ladies Vow to “Stop Satan From Pulling The Strings!”
Ladies of Landover member Mrs. Taffy Davenport-Gaines Crockett, visiting the Landover Christian Pharmacy recently to refill the church tract display, happened upon a shocking sight. A young woman was visibly upset and arguing loudly with pharmacist Emma Mae Martin. What Mrs. Crockett discovered next sickened her unto the point of nausea.
“The young woman was trying to buy tampons,” Mrs. Crockett said, barely able to hold back tears. “I snatched that girl by the hair and pulled her outside… there were children present! Can you imagine how they’d be damaged by hearing such evil ideas?”
“I explained to this young lady that we do not carry such phallic devices as tampons and when attending to her monthly curse,” Mrs. Martin said, adding that “Satan himself controls the manufacturing of those things.” The young woman then began to verbally abuse her, she said.
“A Godly woman is only to use a Maxi-Pad,” Mrs. Crockett stated. “Why, they even have them with little angel wings now! I handed her a box and told her unless she wanted my handprint across her face she was never to utter that evil T word again!” The as yet unidentified woman then fled the store in humiliation. Landover Security sketch artists are preparing a likeness to aid in identifying the young woman. Her salvation status is unknown, but based on this event, it is likely she is Hellbound.
“Toxic Shock Syndrome is God’s way of punishing unsaved harlots who choose Satan’s cotton fingers over a Godly pad,” Pastor Deacon Fred stated upon hearing of the event. “These playthings of Satan are created under the guise of a ladies hygiene product to bring unsuspecting women and young girls to the fold of the Devil.”
Church members are commanded to talk to your teen-age daughters, and search their rooms if you have to. “Souls are at stake and God is taking names,” added Pastor Wiley.
Mrs. Crockett has organized the Ladies of Landover Phone Bank to spread the word, and has called for both a letter writing protest campaign and a boycott on all stores who are found to carry these satanic sexual devices. Manufacturers who create such vile products will also be targeted for salvation, or, failing that, closure.
Mrs. Crockett has secured six 24-foot trucks for use in her new ministry, “Stop Satan From Pulling The Strings.” She and the other Ladies of Landover plan a nationwide tour, going city to city, pulling what she calls “The Devil’s delight” from store shelves once clerks are distracted. Upon the ladies’ return, Mrs. Crockett plans a large bonfire.
“We shall pray over the flames as we watch these evil devices go back to the fiery pits of hell from whence they came,” Mrs. Crockett said during her church news conference, adding, “these things are created by Satan for pleasure, and young women are succumbing to the Devil without even realizing it. This is one battle Satan will NOT win!” Her statements drew a standing ovation from the congregation.
All church members are encouraged to join in the BBQ and bring a covered dish as we celebrate yet another Victory over Satan. Marshmallows for roasting over the bonfire will be provided by The Ladies of Landover. Due to the nature of this event, the roasting of hot dogs will be prohibited for obvious reasons.
Pasted from <http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0999/cotton.html>
WASHINGTON — The White House has confirmed that Barack Hussein Obama has officially resigned as the twice elected president of the United States. After dozens of failed attempts to discredit Mr. Obama with accusations concerning his place of birth, a teen homicide, and even a failed sex change, the president was finally brought down by his own attempt at nationalizing health care.
After spending almost 48 billion dollars, it was reveled that only 370 people have actually signed up for Obama care, the majority of whom are illegal immigrants smuggled in from China. The plot was discovered when a Malaysian airliner full of “CIA trained healthcare registrants” went missing and an investigation discovered they were all pro-Obamacare.
Republicans have reportedly served the Obama family with an invoice, demanding that they repay almost 3 and a half billion dollars in club memberships and vacation expenses.
Dr. Orly Taitz, Esquire, long time Obama foe, is concerned, “He may flee the country and is seek asylum in his Kenyan homeland. If Mr. Obama finally admits he is a Kenyan born, Kenyan citizen, he would be protected from extradition. The sad fact is, we’ll probably be paying off the Obama’s recreation debts for years to come.”
The vacationing Obama family was not available to play the race card.
So I left.
However, my friends (here in real life) insist that I keep doing something.
I also miss my Facebook friends. I’m working on a deal where I can write editorials on a “news blog” and have them appear automatically on Facebook. If it were up to me I would never post on Facebook again. However, my fans are lazy and would rather check Facebook than visit “blogs”. I really hope Google smashes Facebook. I hate them too, but one hate-filled fantasy of revenge at a time.
In the mean time, Obama Care–can’t even set up a web site and you’re putting your life in their hands. Yeah, I told you it was going to be fucked up. You haven’t seen nothing yet!
PS You can leave comments here if you need to reach me.
…I’ve been very busy, um, writing and doing other productive work!
The web site is still in progress, they want to know if they should publish now or upgrade it to the latest tech (HTML5). We’ve waited this long, so I’d rather have the flexibility of the new tech. The upgraded version would be so much easier for me to post content. Easier and more secure than WordPress.
What do you think? Should we go online with what we have now, or wait for the upgrade?
Obama Files Federal Charges Against George Zimmerman Following Acquittal in Shooting Murder of Trayvon Martin
According to http://nationalreport.net Obama Files Federal Charges Against George Zimmerman Following Acquittal in Shooting Murder of Trayvon Martin
Just when we thought the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case was over after Zimmerman’s acquittal, the Obama Administration has taken the steps needed to file federal charges, thus sidestepping the well established double jeopardy, against Zimmerman. Unidentified sources within the Administration have confirmed that Obama, and Justice Eric Holder at the Department of Justice have filed charges against Zimmerman for “violating Trayvon Martin’s civil rights”.
Double jeopardy is an often misunderstood concept in American Law. The rule merely states that an individual cannot be tried twice for the same crime in the SAME COURT. Liberal Justice Department officials often charge Americans with crimes from which they have previously been acquitted by filing federal charges on a similar crime in a federal court.
At approximately 10:01 pm EST this evening Judge Debra Nelson announced that the all women jury had found Zimmerman not guilty of fatally shooting and killing the 17-year old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, FL, just over one year ago.
The case has received national attention and nearly wall-to-wall coverage on all mainstream media outlets. While Al Sharpton and the entire staff at MSNBC has advocated heavily for a guilty verdict, we on the right have been praying for an acquittal for Zimmerman who was simply exercising his right to “Stand your Ground” (a Florida statute that apparently allows individuals to follow, track, then attack young Black youth before shooting them dead if feeling at all threatened throughout the process).
Obama has actively used his influence throughout the case (think “If I had a son he would look like Trayvon”). Earlier this week, multiple sources, including Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and the entire right wing, has reported on the involvement of the Federal Government in spending millions of dollars in support of anti-Zimmerman protests (race riots). According to Fox News, ” The Community Relations Service (CRS), a unit of DOJ, reported expenses related to its deployment in Sanford to help manage protests between March and April 2012, according to documents obtained by the watchdog group Judicial Watch.”
*DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by writers on The National Report are theirs alone and are not reflective of the fine journalistic and editorial integrity of RealShoreDrive.
I used Facebook for some of the images, and when I changed my FB photos, it broke the links here.
I will fix it as soon as I can. I the mean time you can always come visit me on Facebook.
I hope to spend a little more time here, but there’s a lot going on.
Men: Master your bate!